The Very Best Sycophant

In my mind, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson represents the essence of a Trump sycophant. There are many within the administration, but Speaker Johnson rises to an entirely unique level, both as a government offical and as a MAGA high priest. Contemplate that Johnson is just several heartbeats from the Presidency.

Deep in the Bible Belt elected

By the people where I dwell

Hope they understand that

I’m under one man’s spell

Beholden to that one man

I leave them high and dry

My constituents be damned

He is the apple of my eye

I’m a true MAGA believer

And despite his many flaws

He is my king and savior

I’m faithful to his cause

Then the Lord looked down

And told me very clear

Be prepared and ready

Something only I could hear

Told I was the new Moses

This was revealed by God

To be Speaker of the House

The one getting the nod

The Bible is my truth

And the ultimate source

But the King James version

Is not what I endorse

On a slow boat coming from China

The elect receiving divine grace

His God Bless the USA Bible

Is the Good Book I embrace

I’m a true MAGA believer

And despite his many flaws

He is my king and savior

I’m faithful to his cause

Not for the faint of heart

I do what I’m told

How high to jump

I’m a sight to behold

A toady and a minion

A groveler and devotee

A fawner and follower

And He holds the key

I’m the very best sycophant

Servile and self-serving

My loyalty unwavering, true

My fidelity to Him unswerving

I’m a true MAGA believer

And despite his many flaws

He is my king and savior

I’m faithful to his cause